Attitudes

When people are on the verge of becoming parents, many of them worry they won't love their baby. Veteran parents just pat them on the arm and tell them they will love their new baby, despite the discomfort and inconvenience of pregnancy. However, veteran parents don't tell these prospective parents that some days you have to work harder than others to love your baby. This week was one of those harder weeks for me. Baby M has been difficult. He just screamed the first half of the week. All the time. For no discernible reason. Big old bowl of mommy might go crazy right there. At one point I was in tears. But God put a lady in my path who just soothed Baby M and me. How wonderful is the Lord that he did that for us! Would I have even noticed his hand in the "walkabout" days. Not so much. So, my attitude is definitely different, even toward my children.

First of all, I didn't tell Baby M, "mommies only love happy babies," or "Your screaming is ruining my quality of life". Instead I sang, and danced, and called my mom. And...I did a lot of praying. Sometimes I prayed for Baby M to stop screaming. Some days I just prayed for a little more patience. Sometimes I visualized locking the person who last told me, "God doesn't give you patience, he gives you opportunities to practice" in a room with Baby M (not Christlike, but I'm working on that!) After all, who else could give us patience, but our Lord and Father? He is most patient with us. Kind of like a parent with a baby who just won't stop screaming. See! When you look for it, everything can tie in to your faith.

The truth of the matter is that trying to have a more Christlike attitude got me through the week. I was not perfect, and I had to work at it, but I was trying. So I got through screamy baby syndrome. I got through meeting the parents of G.'s teammates, and honestly, there couldn't be a group of women designed to be more intimidating to me. Soccer moms are kind of scary. My wonderful husband helped me through the whole, "they are all tanned, and skinnier, and have straight hair and whiter teeth" thing. He helped me see it was all about changing my attitude to something more accepting, open, and loving. I have to love these women as my neighbors. I am working on it.

I also took another step in getting over having my feelings hurt on Labor Day. I had to accept that the hostess threw a get together at the last minute and didn't leave us out maliciously. I had to keep on loving. So. Stinking. Hard. It is so hard to get over something that hurts my feelings. But today, I actively changed my attitude. I called her and invited her to G's first soccer game, and to a Zumba class. And you know what? I feel really good now. God helped me get over my pout, and I feel better for letting it go. I also had to make the decision to keep being over it and not bring it up ever again. S0 that is what I am going to do, and now G has more people to cheer him on, and I have a dance buddy. So the bitter of the beginning of the week is leavened by the sweet. Surely God is mighty if He can keep the Earth rotating, and our hearts beating, and still deal with my screaming baby, my screaming insecurities, and my hurt feelings. This is part of the reason why I worship our Creator.